heartened

 i never knew what time would tell 

but when it came to i fell 

for dumb reasons, just trying to hold on to closed doors

hell i broke a heart just to try to get yours 

i never knew depression could hit this hard 

suicide and all isn’t the peak, i just keep guard 

nobody knew since i was on the fence

so when it all broke down i suffered in silence 

there’s so much to sit around and think about

i don’t feel like feeling, i’ll float without doubt 

just not in the mood, let the drugs do what they do 

escape, distract, pin me down, let me fake this too 

i have my upbringings and smiles on the daily

just don’t know whats real or how i’ll be 

get ready to let go, walls up, no remorse

can’t be blind sided by another trojan horse 

i’m just done with all the bullshit

on edge, can’t afford another hit