“ i’m just so tired
from all the events that have transpired
to know pain is to know where it comes from
it can come quickly or slowly but for some
it comes from consistency, having things go wrong
has me sitting here thinking, gripping my bong
feelings are meant to be felt but reality needs to hit
where i am isn’t always the place to release so here i sit
wondering where it all went wrong
as i keep looping this same song
showers became reality breaks, where i let out my cry
let it all out, in there i can’t be shy
i’m not sure if you understand emotional pain
when it gets to the point of hurting you physically shit gets insane
it’s like Harry’s scar when Voldemorts nearby
just hurts me knowing there’s nothing left, *sigh*
pain has been a constant thats for sure
i’ve learned to live with it, there is no cure
you have to look forward, not forgetting
just be aware of what’s around, know your setting
face reality no matter what’s said
when times seemed the toughest we fled
my happiest was when i was given hope
maybe things could work out for once… nope
life continues and i’ll keep making my mistakes
i mean how long until things finally work, fucks sake
i just decided to be without my guard and
now like metapod i’m hardened
for now it’s me and the one who follows
i’d say more but he can be a lot to swallow
that’s life and at some point you have to let it be
i’ll sit here knowing that i love you, but YDLM”
Before going forward I have to always look back and reanalyze the decisions made by me and others throughout my life. I leave zero hate, zero hard feelings, at the end of the day the person you are supposed to love and look after most is yourself. And it should be noted that I say YDLM because in my eyes you don’t. At least not anymore. No matter how much I’m willing to do, it doesn’t matter if you aren’t at the same level. Life goes on. I’ll continue to live and seek out what life has in store for me next. How much pain can one man take, well I’m either here to answer that question or to never find out, either way should be a blast. I guess I should also consider this a learning experience, but nobody wants to go through this shit, this is why people give up. I have to say I have learned values the most, to care for those that need it and contribute wherever I can. Becoming the giving individual I know I am behind my newly built walls, just never showing myself. Thank you to everyone who has been in my life during, I love and appreciate all of you for your help. All of you have given me enough strength and support to go through a majority of this physically alone, to a normal person I don’t think this would’ve gone well without that. Now it’s time to move forward, looking back only to see the progress. Later ✌🏽
